Showing Up for Yourself — A Key to Leadership (by Stephanie Mickle & Chioma Chinwuko)
Can you remember a time when you failed at something when you were a child, in front of the other children? Did they laugh at you or with you? As an adult, do you remember failing at something in front of your friends or work colleagues? Did you feel ashamed or do you remember laughing at yourself then trying again? Now, do you remember losing someone? Whether it was a memory of your first love breaking up with you or losing a beloved friend or family member to death? Did you feel your strength leave you? Your energy drained, and you did not know what to do? Sometimes, your friends and family show up for you in the moments when your strength has left you, and sometimes no one shows up for you or is fully able to understand your pain, and you feel alone. These are the moments when you truly learn to show up for yourself. Here are three global women leaders who showed up for themselves during difficult times, and by doing so, inspire millions of others to do the same and show up for themselves.
Malala Yousafzai: Malala Yousafzai is a twenty-three year-old Pakistani education activist who fights for girls' right to attend school. Her father was a teacher, and he ran a girls' school in their village. Malala was a top student who loved to learn and enjoyed going to school. Unfortunately, when the Taliban took control of her town in 2008, they banned the rights of girls to go to school. Malala was only eleven years old at the time. Malala spoke out publicly on behalf of girls and their right to learn and attend school. In October 2012, as Malala was on her way home from school, a gunman boarded her school bus, asked for Malala by name, and shot her three times on the left side of her head. At that moment, Malala could have died; she could have been viewed as a failure and troublemaker- someone who broke the law and deserved to be punished. Fortunately, Malala survived the assassination attempt and decided to keep fighting for girls' right to learn and moved with her parents to the U.K. While there, Malala Yousafzai received a Nobel Peace Prize in December 2014. In 2020, Malala graduated from Oxford University. Malala is 23 years old now. Malala was so young; she had the opportunity to start afresh in a new country. She could have stopped being an advocate for girls' education and lived in fear for her life, but she chose to resist these thoughts and remain focused on her goals. She has a purpose that she is committed to, and by continuing to move forward, she showed up for herself and millions of other girls.
Hillary Clinton:
Much has been written about Hillary Clinton over the years. After all, she is a former United States Senator, former Secretary of State, lawyer, global leader and is married to Bill Clinton — the 42nd President and the one of most powerful men in the United States of America. In 1998, a political sex scandal between her husband and an intern came to light. Bill Clinton’s very public personal failing not only led to widespread criticism of him as a president around the globe, but it also subjected Hillary Clinton to scorn and sympathy alike. And we can empathize with her, for sure. Imagine what the whole world had to say about Hillary Clinton when her husband went after a much younger woman. “Maybe she didn’t take care of him well enough? Was she domestic enough? Was she too ambitious? Did she gain weight and stop looking good enough for him?” Many women are often blamed for marriage failures across cultures, and they end up carrying the burden, the self-doubts, and the shame. Whether it is a relationship or marriage that you have personally invested in or one that you admired from afar and possibly even posted on social media hashtags of #relationshipgoals, when couples experience a rough stint in the relationship or the relationship terminates, it is easy to understand the hurt, pain, loss, and shame. It’s a tough place to be. Despite the stigma, this worldwide scandal did not deter Hillary from showing her face in public. She kept going. She stood by her husband publicly. Together, they privately worked on their marriage. She pursued her own career goals and eventually became the Democratic Nominee in 2016 for the President of the United States of America. If you face a time like this, when you feel like your personal life is crumbling, and the whole world is ridiculing you, remember that Hillary demonstrated strength and stood in her light and purpose while the world mocked. She concentrated on her vision and life goals. If she can show up for herself after public humiliation on the world stage, you can do it too!
Princess Meghan Markle Princess Meghan Markle, lovely Duchess of Sussex, is a woman with a multicultural background: African American and Caucasian, married to Prince Harry of England. She is also an American actress who was previously married and is a few years older than her husband, Prince Harry. Many people were delighted for Prince Harry and his bride, but some were not satisfied that he had found love with a woman who was not a more traditional choice, in many ways. Many women who choose to marry into a family that is different from their own are nervous about the differences, eager to be accepted, and want to make sure that they fit in and keep their marriage healthy. Princess Meghan experienced all of these concerns and more on the world stage, being from a different culture and country than her husband. She also underwent being the subject of racist comments. But through it all, she remained confident, and she believed in herself and in her relationship with Prince Harry. Princess Meghan’s strength was visible during their first year of marriage and pregnancy. Her love for her husband and her strength was even more visible when her husband, because of the relentless media pressure they faced, Prince Harry decided to take his wife and their new baby and step away from the royal family’s duties and move to Canada so they could have more privacy and focus on their new family. His decision is one for the history books, and it did not come without cost, consequence, and consternation. It represented a challenging time for the Duchess of Sussex. They gave up their royal duties and state funding. Many people blamed Meghan for Prince Harry’s choice, but she showed unwavering support for her husband and his decision. Indeed,Meghan’s grace, dignity, bravery, encouragement, and endurance are inspiring to those who are different, who stand out and feel rejected. She showed up for herself, Prince Harry, and their family. Something larger than herself gave her a reason to fight.
Co-written by Chioma Chinwuko
